Definitely NOT an Expert…

I am going to go ahead at tell you straight out of the gate that I am not an expert on anything.  I don’t have any fancy degrees in psychology.  I have never been to seminary.  Lord knows any education I have on human emotion and behavior come straight from the school of life!  I seem to have a master’s degree in a group of courses called “The Hard Way,” because that is how I have had to learn most of my lessons…  So why should you read this?  Let me continue… I decided to write / video this blog for all of you out there who have also graduated from the school of “Wow, THAT was a horrible decision.”  For you women who have all the right intentions, who long to grow and be more than you are or were, but who seem to consistently make wrong choices.  I am writing to women with three ex husbands, the members of team “four baby-daddies,” the former (and possibly current) hooker…  I am writing for all of you who think that because of the choices you have made, whether those choices were made five years or ten minutes ago, you are worthless…  This blog isn’t for the “good girls” – though I would love for them to read as well, it’s for the misfits and misunderstood. If that’s you, I am writing to tell you that you are not worthless!  You are loved by God and that HE has a plan for you!!!

You might be reading that and think, “Yeah I have heard that before but that just isn’t possible.  If you knew the things I have done in my life you would know that He wouldn’t want to save me!  And even if He saves me and forgives me, He will never use me because why would he want to use someone as screwed up as me to accomplish anything for HIM?!”  Or you may be thinking, “Easy for you to say!  Pretty, middle class, white girl with a good job, nice car and a dog…  You have no idea what it feels like to be me!”  To that I say, don’t judge a book by its cover….  I have been married and divorced twice before I was 30, and am in the process of getting divorced a third time (not because I wanted to but because my husband had multiple affairs and I deserve better).  I have three kids by three different dads, one of which is not any of my ex husband’s biologically.  I have lied and cheated people to survive.  I have slept with literally hundreds of men in my life, some of them for money.  I have been a cam internet model…  The list of stupidity goes on and on…  When I say I can relate to whatever you are going through I truly mean WHATEVER.  So when I tell you that I know that God not only forgives and loves you, but that He also wants to use you to accomplish amazing things for His glory?  I know it is true because I know the things He has forgiven me for and delivered me from.  I know the opportunities He has given me to minister to others using the “bad” things from my past as a way to reach out and love others.  Most importantly I know that God does NOT hold our past against us and that He blesses us in ways we don’t deserve because once we are His, the past is gone in His eyes…

For now, that is all I will say.  Just know that everything I post on here is me sharing my heart, my life, my experiences, and my deliverance with you.  Not because I am proud of my past – there is little in my past to be proud of, but because my desire is to show you that God has a plan and a purpose for you. He knows everything you have ever done, even the secret things, and He loves you.  He is seeking you and calling your name.  When you answer Him, He will not only change your heart, He is willing to change your life!!!!!

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.”